Keep The Key
by its-never-lupus
Summary: Jack leaves Spot to go to Santa Fe, and Spot kind of loses it. Kind of angsty, my first attempt at angst, please forgive if it sucks. Rated for slash, language, and attempted suicide. Please read and review!


Disclaimer: I own nothing. Period. So please, don't sue me! I'm broke, LOL! I'm going to NYC in July, and I'm thinking of yelling something off the Brooklyn Bridge, not jumping off of it. I'm debating between, "I'm the King of New York!" and, "What's up, Brooklyn?!" chokes as Saturday grabs my neck and makes me shut up OK!…OK! Here's the story!

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

He's gone. I just have to accept that. But I can't. I probably never will be able to. "Fuck him! Fuck Santa Fe! Just kill me now!" I collapsed, crying. Now I, Spot Conlon, do not normally cry. But you have to understand: I loved Jack Kelly with my whole heart. And when he left, I was crushed.

_'Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

He told me this might happen someday. I just didn't expect 'someday' to come so soon. I fingered the small key around my neck. It's the only memento of him I carry with me always. I asked him what it opened. All he would say was, "Spottie-boi, it's the key to the greatest treasure in all the land. May I keep it?" His eyes twinkled with mischief. "No, you doofus. Now give it to me, or I'll soak ya!" I lightly punched him, then he grabbed my wrist and pulled me in for a kiss. He always was kind of impetuous like that. I'll always keep that damn key. Even though I despise him, it's my fault he left.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have _

_All of me_

It all started nine months ago.(A/N: No, Spot is NOT having a baby. Even I'M not THAT weird. And beside, it's physiologically impossible.) The newsies were having a party to celebrate us winnin' the strike and kickin' Pulitzer's ass, and Denton had got us some moonshine beer. Let me tell you, a dew glasses of that shit, and you get sloshed real quick. Anyway, Jack wasn't there for the party. Guess he was out with Roosevelt, getting that damn parade. Anyway, I ended up getting plastered, and I started making out with Racetrack. We were both drunk, and one thing led to another, and we ended up in bed together. Well, as luck would have it, Jack got back ten minutes later, and walked in on the pair of us all over each other. That didn't go over well.

You used to captivate me 

_By your resonating life_

_But now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams_

Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me 

When he walked in, he didn't yell, scream, curse, nothin'. He just stood and stared. When he spoke, it was in a voice of barely controlled rage and sadness. "I guess I shoulda seen this comin'. You never were relationship material, Spot. Mazel tov to the paira youse." We leapt up from the bed, pulling on our clothes, pleading with him to come back and let us explain. He wouldn't turn around. But he paused in the doorway, back still to us and said, "Spot, Ise goin' to Santa Fe the day after tomorra. I'll probably never see youse again. Keep the key, will youse? As one last favor to old Cowboy, all right?" "Sure", I said, choking on my tears. He left the day after next. I miss him to this day. And I still love him. And I'll never EVER forgive myself for cheating on him while I was drunk.

These wounds won't seem to heal 

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

So here I am. The leader of Brooklyn, revered and awed, without the love of my life. Sure, I've contemplated suicide, but I've always been too chicken too make good on my thoughts. But now? I mean…who knows? The bridge is always an option. So's my lucky knife

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears 

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

I walked over to the edge of the bridge, and looked down into the river. I've thrown many things into it, but never myself. Or anyone else, for that matter. God, it was a long fall.

I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone 

_But though you're still with me_

I've been alone all along 

I climbed up onto the railing, steeling myself for the jump, and the long drop that was sure to follow. Then I heard a voice in the distance. "Spot, no! Are you fuckin' crazy?" It was Mush, one of Jack's boys. I'd always related to him. Soak anyone who pisses ya off. "Spot! What the HELL are you doin'?! Get the hell down! Jack's not worth killin' yourself over. And I've got a letter from him here, for you." I jumped down double-quick, tore open the letter, and read it. It was very short. "Spot-I'm making it big here out west. You know that key I gave you? The one that I said unlocked a treasure? I like to call it the key to my heart. I forgive you, Spottie. But I ain't coming back for a while. Not because I'm angry, but because I got an opportunity I can't pass up. I love ya, Spottie. But youse gotta move on eventually. Take care of yourself.

Love,

Jack"

"P.S. If ya ever get angry, soak the Delanceys, not yourself."

I looked up at Mush. "He ain't comin' back for a while. But that's OK, I guess. He's got his life, and now, I've got mine." Mush smiled. "So…so youse wanna come back to the lodging house? Race is settin' up a poker game." "Sure. But I don't have to talk to Race much, do I?" "Not if youse don't wanna."

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears 

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

So we walked back to the lodging house, Mush and I, hand in hand. He saved my life, Mush did. I owe him a lot. Not THAT much. I'm gonna start it out slow. Who knows where it'll lead?

All of me 

END

A/N: Bonus points to anyone who can guess what movie that key quote is from. "He said it was the key to the greatest treasure in all the land. May I keep it?" No, no, no, no hints. Anyway, wrote most of this in World History 8 A.M., so forgive me if it's not my best work. Please review!


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